Note to self:

What the fuck are you doing? Are you serious right now? Suck it up! Get over it! You have been through way worse. Stop whining about how hard it is. Stop whining about how pointless it seems. Suck it up fake a smile and move on until that smile is real. What? you say your collapsing under the pressure? Who is the pressure coming from? That is right its all you. You keep pushing yourself into stuff to make other people happy. Chill out. Do what you want, do what is best for you. Don't not worry about other people, but put yourself first sometimes. So your dreams are not working out like you thought. Stop being naive if stuff went according to plan, you would have no free will. Snap the fuck out of it. Do not give up. Keep Dreaming.