Amor

In so many ways I have two lives, the life I’m living and the life I live. In so many ways, I need to convince myself that it is impossible to have that disconnect, and I know this in my head, but I cannot seem to fully feel it my heart. There is a difference between walking and running, and it isn’t the speed. The difference between walking and running lies primarily in when a person picks up their trailing foot from the ground, in walking it is not until the lead foot is planted, in running it happens before. In running a person often has both feet off the ground, a person often has no stable footing, both feet in the air. This is a metaphor. In a thousand ways I ran into Panama, jumped into Panama, like the gulf was a hurdle, I found my footing and I kept going. In one way I walked, in one way I can’t seem to pick up my trailing foot. I love you. My foot is stuck in love, love that I cannot bring with me, but that I cannot seem to let go. I am heartbroken and hopelessly in love at the same time. And I have no idea what to do about it, or if something even needs to be done about it.