Bring it on.

One of my hobbies involves digging really large holes and jumping in. All in hopes that the walls will collapse. This one is almost big enough. I think that I honestly enjoy being in over my head. It keeps me busy and on my toes and it definitely keeps things a little more interesting. I actually decided to join crew, keep working, and not only stay active within house and hall gov but to run for secretary and I almost joined women for women, but I decided that would be to big of a conflict. Swim test Thursday. Learn to row weekend starts Saturday. Secretary application is due Wednesday. Camping on Thursday? I work the rest of the week. Oh yeah and somehow I also have to go to class. Lets do this shit.

Yes.

Lets work on saying no again. We made so much progress last year. Or at least saying nah.

Time to slow down a bit, these are the best years of my life.

To do list:
Get my split for a 2k under 2:00, right now it is 2:09.8. I think I am going to start rowing 5ks to get my endurance up.
Continue with the seven AM workouts.
Drop my weekends at work and try yo pick up a Monday shift.
Attempt to study for my classes.
Get a student loan.
Log superior edge hours.
Apply for SLFP.
Try to not have to get gas until I go down state, that means never drive.
Write letters to the people who were promised letters.
Write letters to the people who were promised letters last year.
Save some money.
Stay this happy and content for as long as possible.

rowing?

Apparently I am dirt. Such, such dirt.
I guess I will just keep trying. I really miss being part of a team, having some athletic practice to go to everyday. Rowing has potential to give that back, if I start performing above the level of dirt. Luckily I have pretty crazy determination and I have become a bit obsessed with improving. Its not going so hot hot I shaved 10 seconds off my time for 2000m this morning but its still way to high. Try, try again?

It is going to be a good year?

So many good things:
I have kept the motivation going.
Two for two morning work outs.
I haven't lost touch, yet.
It is beautiful even when it is cloudy.
I met a really happy seeming skeptic
All of my classes seem do able.
Crew seems accomplish able.
Work starts today and that means cash flow.


So many bad things:
I can not save money.
I am apparently in a slightly upper level class.
I forgot a lot of stuff in Flint.
I can not save money.
I need some more money.
People have already begun to expect too much of me.
I am not sure what I am getting myself into.
My hands are pretty much blistered.
Work starts today.

Starting over isnt what life is about.

Dear Marquette Michigan,

I love this city, and everyone in this city. I can tell that it is going to be a good year, from this weekend. With working 8 to 5 everyday I somehow managed to find enough time to do all the shit that should be done during welcome weekend. I can only hope the pattern will continue and I will be able to add all the other shit I have been telling myself I want to do. I guess for now I will continue to just do the spontaneous always down for anything kind of thing until I get some commitments.

906

It is so good to be home. If only I were slightly less busy I could have some time to actually enjoy Marquette. I can not wait for all the freshman to move in so I do not have to do this anymore and I can finally get outside. Get a new bike, jump off some cliffs, climb some mountains and of course straight rage.

mixed emotions

I can not believe its over. I just spent twelve weeks with no personal space, minimal showering, and a bunch of screaming children and it had to be one of the most meaningful experiences I have ever had. I definitely went to work at GSSEM camps very confused about who I was and who I wanted to be and what it means to live, and it is safe to say that I have left confused about who I want to be, but I am pretty sure I am figuring out who I am and I definitely think now I actually know what it means to feel fulfilled. Not to mention, the amazing people I met there, who have inspired me to be more open, trusting and, more sure of myself. I feel like it was a poush in the right direction, I just wish it was not over. Actually having to say goodbyes today and them being for more than the day and a half we call a weekend was impossibly rough. It just sucks having built something so good that worked so well and having to abandon it. I have lost my support system and its not like I have another one waiting for me. I have to rebuild what I was starting to have at northern and try to incorporate what I never had in Flint into it. On the flip side I can not wait to be back in Marquette. The people, the life, the lake, I have missed it so much. I am almost as excited for my classes as I am for being back in Marquette. I just hope to follow through on the promises I made myself. I guess we will see.

Fixing my ray bans with super glue

I re-re submitted my finacial aid today, tuition is due tomorrow so I guess I am going to have to defer payment, hopefully fin aid will cover it. Also I think I am suppose to be paying on a student loan, but I havent been home so I havent gotten any bills, thats gonna suck. I am pretty sure prudence might be sitting at home this semester of college I am not sure that car is beginning to get worse and worse. I do not think a replacement is going to happen anytime soon, but I should be getting a legit bike. As for work I think I will be heading back into the MP for another semester, or at least until I find something better, maybe lifeguarding, or refing, or anything else to be honest. Life is good, I feel good about my classes for the fall, I feel as though the finances are working out, I feel good about my mental state, I feel good about my social state/ the friends I have made and the friends I have dettached myself from, and I feel good about the goal I set out to accomplish. I may not know what to do with my life, but I feel like I am steadily figuring it out.