It seems like I always end up on the same subject

I figured it out today, everything, life, I figured it out. I figured it out watching a documentary about mushrooms, the guy was talking about how he was convinced the hallucinations he was having were real, that his spirit lived within the mushroom. His purpose in life is to eat these mushrooms so his true spirit can be free. That is when it hit me life has no purpose it is all man made. Any purpose in life is just a construction. I have been so concerned with finding myself, discovering who am, shit like that, when it is not even out there to find. Life is a figment of my imagination. I have to create myself, make my own purpose. I need to stop worrying about what is noble, or moral, because there are no morals no higher purpose. I am just star dust the result of a chain reaction of elements getting heavier of proteins bumping into acids, forming nucleotides. It is like everyone is just betting, betting on this divinity that no one can even prove the existence of or disprove for that matter. Life is not just preparation for death, it is not about higher purpose, or an afterlife. It does not exists, it might, but I can not prove it, or disprove it. I would not drive 3000 miles to climb a mountain that someone told me existed, I would not go see it on faith. I refuse to live my life on faith to give myself false hope no matter how much I crave it. It is my duty to myself to deny myself false hope. I am not going to lie to myself. I mean this guy doubted his mushroom spirit less than most religions doubt god, he is like a hundred percent sure his spirit is trapped in those mushrooms, most religious people have confessed doubts, they have to keep convincing themselves it is real. I am not saying it is right but the guy with the mushroom holds equal merit in my eyes. So I am done looking for answers, I will just make my own like everyone else. It is not about why I live, it is just that I am doing it deliberately, freely, for myself.