I know that starting over is not what life's all about. But my thoughts were so loud, I couldn't hear my mouth.

It is not like I do not like where I am, I actually love where I am. At the same time though it is not like there is not anywhere else I would rather be. I would rather be so many places honestly. I love where I am, but of course it is never as good as the places I could be. You know, the grass is always greener, the future is always brighter, there is always somewhere else to go. I just have a bit of cabin fever. Not literal cabin fever, I am hardly in my room. It is like I have Marquette or Michigan-cabin fever, no it is actually more than that. I feel trapped in time, not so much time even as like life stage, not like trapped by my age or even my status as a college student. I am trapped by my lack of life experience and my lack of ability to experience life. What I mean is, I feel trapped by like life's prerequisites. It is like to get a job I need a degree, to get a degree I need these classes, to get these classes I need money, to get money I need a loan, to get a loan I need credit, to get credit I need a job, etc. It is like I want all these things but I only want them so I can have what I get for having them. No matter what I have I will always want more. I do not even mean that in a shallow way, I know it can be perceived as that, but if I do not want more constantly I am just settling. I feel like settling is worse, especially because what I want is not like gold and sports cars, it is a non-shallow want. I will always crave difference. There is always something I have not seen, not done, not heard, not felt, and to not want it, is worse, then craving it. Right?