Fear

Today my Conservation Biology professor said: "It makes me really sad when students like you(directed at whole class, processed as said directly to me) do not know what they plan on doing after college. You are setting yourself up for failure, because when you do figure it out and apply to whatever job that may be, you wont be outstanding, because when you did not know what you wanted you never gave it your all."
I am scared. Completely terrified. I need an adviser, but I am scared to meet with one, because I am positive they will think I am stupid. They will ask, what do you want to do? I will answer that I do not know. They will ask what kind of job I would like. I will tell them I do not really know. They will ask what I enjoy doing. I will attempt to word vomit out a description of what I enjoy doing. They will tell me it is unrealistic. They will tell me I need a serious job. They will tell me I need to make sacrifices. They will punch me in the heart with their words and think that I am just a stupid dreamer. They will think I will end up as a failure. They will not be proud of me. They will not mentor me. I will continue to be to "me" to do anything about it. I will still not know what to do with my life. I will be a failure to everyone.