Dear Prudence

Show much to say.
I was going to blog about how much I like to drive, and how relaxing it is. Not anymore. I still like to drive in fact I enjoyed every second of it except for the ditch part. As soon as I got out i was drivin and jammin again.
Car accident revelation: I am such a pleaser, first thought was did i hit another car? The second thought was shit I had plans, I am going to have to flake out. Then I checked to see if I was alive.
Anyway here is what is really bothering me. So I crashed about ten feet from what I assumed to be a creek, in a ditch. That creek was the Indian River, I was in fact, in Indian River, Michigan. Which now leads me to believe, that I am obsessing over my total lack of faith/purpose, these really are signs, or I am being haunted/protected by my mom. So the reason this holds significance is, I spread my moms ashes in the Indian river, that I crashed next to. I did not make this connection until my sister called and asked me where I was, when I told her, she said, "I miss mom." It made me want to puke. So I have all these "signs" and no explanations. Street lights shutting off, seeing that postcard, a thing with some deer, the whole convenient car accident location, and something else. I give up, I want to know what it means, if it means something, and if it means nothing, I would like to know that as well. So whatever mystical being or higher power is fucking with me, can you make it a little more obvious.