I do not even know anymore, really

So its like I have no motivation or passion anymore. Everything I am doing seems extremely trivial. Maybe. I have never had passion for chem or for school or shit like that, but for as long as I can remember I have had passion for biology and the outdoors and books, but it seems like I have lost it recently. I mean I have been sitting in the library since 11:40 staring at biology notes refusing to study them. I shrugged it off and decided to work on a paper about "The road less taken," this is what I got, "In life there is always a choice that needs to be made." This is not cool. I should be able to shoot off a paper about Robert Frost in like 15 minutes. I have no motivation. I mean I do not want to be here, really. I like it I guess and I want to learn, but I hate being told what to learn about. I am not scared of flunking out. Actually, I kind of want it to happen as an excuse to try an alternative to college. At the same time if I dropped out of college I kind of know I would be pretty much screwed and disowned so I continue to halfheartedly attempt to be studious. It is like I have this choice of college or "happiness," but the second choice is truly impossible and I am kind of happy with the first. If that makes sense. I am not saying I hate college, I love college, I hate structure. No, no, it is not even structure, I hate not being able to do what I want to do. I hate the thought of being stuck in one place for four years, without the ability to truly pursue my "passions" that may or may not exists. It is like right now I could be in the mountains in California but I cannot go because I need to go to college and when I do not have college I cannot go because I need money for college. It is like a prerequisite for life. I am just so sick of feeling stuck and I can not even get away for the weekends anymore because I do not have the gear, and I forgot my tent because I brought it home for winter break and did not even use it, my bike is in storage, and all my friends are actually drinking buddies. I am just sick of doing what I am told. I do not even fucking know what I am talking about. I just feel like I am in a daze and people keep pushing me around making me do shit, and I do it and its not to say I do not enjoy it. I just do not enjoy having to do it. I feel like I am everyone's tool. Fuck.