The thing I hate the most

I have always viewed things in a very optimistic light. The glass was always half full, the clouds always lined with silver, and the sun never missing its debut tomorrow. Everyone I met was a good person somewhere deep down, and every person that did a terrible thing felt remorse inside. I was gullible, naive, and ignorant. We all start out as optimistic children, than as life progresses and we realize the glass was empty to begin with, the only things lining the clouds are clouds, and the sun only shows up when it benefits. This sucks but nine times out of ten its true, so we start to ignore the one time when it is not. I cannot believe this is happening to me. I am beginning to become the thing I hate the most. I am the most cynical I have ever been. Now, when I look at people, instead of wondering what their thinking, I start wondering what their ulterior motives are. It is terrible, I am stereotyping the entire human race, I am prejudice against what I am. I try and try to remain optimistic. I look to the future with hope. I try and believe that people have the ability to change. Unfortunately disappointment can be very persuasive especially when it happens over and over again. I hate cynical people, they are close minded people, and they refuse to accept new ideas. At the same time though I hate naive optimistic people, they take everyone at their word, and will follow anyone with a microphone or uniform. When I feel myself slipping farther and farther into cynicism, I crawl my way back up to where the sun always shines and I get hurt. The hurt causes me to sink bank to the safety of cynicism. When I feel like the sun may actually always shine I crawl out again, I get hurt. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat again. Repeat until I die. Then Repeat with who ever I leave behind. This is my dilemma how can I remain optimistic and avoid getting hurt? How can I find the balance between what I wish to be true and what I despise?