With regards to the previous

Shit happens.
It was all my fault.
I still feel like a failure.
Refuse to admit what I did.
I am moving on.
I have mostly fixed the situation.
Or at least all of the situations that spiraled from it.
Money is going to be tight.
Like tighter than ever.
When I say tight I mean I will have no money for three weeks.
Then that money will be put directly on tuition.
While my phone bill is paid with my credit card.
Which will then be maxed out.
Where will I get money for dues?
To buy things necessary/convenient to life?
Not really sure.
Life in general is going to be really inconvenient for awhile.
I am over it until I think about it.
Then I am infuriated.
Fuck.
Life goes on.
Right?

Until this moment

I have never in my entire life felt like a failure. I am a complete and total failure right now. I really hope I can get through this.

Thanks for the memories

Why does everything and everyone wait until the last possible minute?
I am going to Marquette Friday morning and I am not planning on coming back. I am sorry if you missed your chance to hang out with me, but I am not rearranging my schedule for anything. Not to sound narcissistic but everyone knows I had planned on being home for a month, that time is now over. I am a little disappointed and a little bit hurt, but I do understand that things change. It has been real but I refuse to be held back by this place and any obligation I feel towards it. You have only reinforced me decision to not come back.
Please refrain from taking this as a bitter goodbye. It is far from it there is no bitterness attached and I would rather not even call it a goodbye. I am not bitter I am understanding. Just as I have grown and matured so have you and it would be childish of me to think of you as a person any different than I. We are all just trying to become something we want to become. It is possible that whereas my plans do not involve this place your plans do not involve me right now. I understand. That is why this is not a bitter goodbye, but a friendly and encouraging so long and safe travels. Just as I plan to do great and exciting things I wish all of you luck and your own private vision of success. And I sincerely hope that someday, whether in the next few months, years, or decades, if our paths cross again you will find me and I promise to do the same that way we, no matter how different we have become, can share our experiences. I am nothing without the people I have been close with, and would once again be naive to think I could ever forget them.

Getting antsy

Big question

After I get my bachelors I should immediately devote all of my time to:
Coast Guard?
Peace Corps?
Backpacking(with a sponsor)?

Bring it on.

*Workout times Subject to change

2011

Its a new year
A fresh start.
Soon everyone will miraculously become better people.
They will go to church, workout, or study hard.
There wont be any smoking, drinking, or swearing.
This is a new beginning a time of great change.
A whole new you.
A whole new year.
Maybe they will keep it up for a month.
Then everyone one will go back to being themselves.
Change doesn't happen overnight. You can not force yourself into being a better person.
It is more of an ongoing process than a flip of a switch.
Resolutions are meaningless.
I resolve to continue.