Nine days

I can do this. Nine days, then I can relax. Attempt to relax. Nine days

ouch

The only people who want to hang out with me while I am home, do not live here. Flint, you are making this way to depressing. I guess I am just bad at keeping friends and relationships with my family.

Flint, Michigan

Make me feel guilty for going to school so far away and working all summer, and then blow me off while I am in town, that's totally cool. I am sure when I am here for Christmas you will plan something at the same time I have something else planned and make me feel guilty. It is convenient that its always my fault. Make an effort at least you do not have to drive 6 hours.

Dreams

I do not want to summit Everest. I want to summit something, anything. More importantly, I want to find someone to do it with me.

Turn around

Oh my last night, great night

Have you ever felt alone in a crowded room?

Its happening again. I was doing so well too.

Why do you do what you do?

Maybe there is just nothing else worth doing

run run run

I wish I was well traveled.
I wish I traveled.
I wish I wasn't always stuck somewhere.
It does not bother me that I am here.
It bothers me that I am not there.
There is nowhere.
It is just not here
When I get there.
I will just want to be somewhere.
Somewhere else.
I want to be somewhere else.
Always.

Last night,

Worst night ever.
Yesterday,
Worst day ever.
They had their good moments.
I am going to forget all the bad parts forever.
Now.

Shut up

Honestly, just because I do not whine about it all the time, does not mean I am not stressed. I am just as stressed if not more stressed then you will ever be in your entire life. I do not have any stability in my life ever, because I never have the chance to make any. I do not whine about it because, unlike the majority of kids at this school, I have perspective. I have seen worse, I have had worse, I know first hand people living with worse. I am living semester to semester, attempting to pay. People are living paycheck to paycheck trying to have enough food. You are living pay check to paycheck for alcohol and Doritos. I feel as though none of these problems are equal. Its all about perspective, it can always get worse but chances are it will get better if you make it better.

Truth

Maybe if we talked less... did more. Maybe?

Trek

In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on. - Robert Frost

Life, always seems to somehow work out for me. I think it is because I know it will and I do not over stress. I just refuse to let shit get me down. Somehow, someway, all of the mistakes I make, go away, because I stay positive and I fix them. I have said it before, nothing in life is predetermined, nothing in life is chance, nothing is luck, and it is never not your fault. It is always your fault. And it is always your responsibility to fix it. Your life belongs to you, you are not fulfilling your destiny, you are not living for some higher purpose. You are just fucking around and then you die. So when shit goes bad its easy to whine about it, to pray, to bargain, but its a lot more effective and fulfilling to suck it up and fix it. If we are following a path we are missing 90 percent of what is available to experience. I never want to be on the wrong path and I never want to be on the right path, I would rather be trekking through the back country in search of nothing, nothing but a good time. Life is shitty if I make it shitty, but life is good if I want it to be. So for now, life is good, and if it gets bad, well life goes on and it will get good again.

The souls of your shoes...

are all worn down.You have to run as fast as you can just to stay in the same place.

That was fun

Seriously, it is time to bring it back. Bring it back and focus. Ready. Set. Go.

Bikeride

I love that I have been here for over a year now, and I am still finding new things. No matter how many trails I bike, I will never be able to see everything. I just love getting lost and finding new things.

stuck

My life and I, we can not seem to agree. I really do enjoy being at Northern, but I dislike that I can never seem to do anything I want. I always have to go to class or work or write a paper. I can barely squeeze in runs, it seems like my bike has been only used to get me to and from places lately, my backpack and tent have been gathering dust since the first few weeks, I have only gone kayaking twice, I did not make it out to the porkies, and I have yet to visit anyone I said I would. I feel like I am complaining but I have so many great things I want to do but I cannot do any of them because I am broke and trying to "better myself with higher education." I recently changed my major I am not sure what I am going to do with it, but I think it is a good thing that I have stepped away from biology. Well sort of I almost want to switch back we will see what happens after this semester. I just want to not be on a schedule all the time.

Dream

So I had a dream. I turned on the microwave completely empty and then went to go sit on my nonexistent futon, then I just stared at the microwave. I heard a knock on my door and he walked in. Suddenly I panicked for some reason I could not let him know that the microwave was on. I kept glancing at the time, 3:53, as we made small talk and joked around and acted like we do, I am sure the conversation was more obscure but then he punched me in the arm, 2:03, and I pushed him out into the hallway and asked to go for a walk, he said he needed his shoes and went back into my room, 1:37. He proceeded to look for his shoes as I desperately tried to block his view of the microwave and he kept getting distracted as he went through all of my stuff, he played with my keys, 0:54. He then asked what the smell was if I was microwaving anything. I played dumb and he looked at the microwave 0:22. He hit the open button, his shoes were inside. He threw me out the window, I no longer lived on the 3rd floor more like the 30th. When I hit the ground he was standing there in melted shoes and he helped me up. He gave me a hug and we started walking.

Starting the week

I love Halloween, I love my friends, Chip owes me rum, Face paint makes it impossible to deny making out, Designated driver stealing is genius, There is still glitter in my hair, Great weekend.
I am glad I did not go to that party last night, this morning is rough enough
I flunked my evolution exam, which is funny because of how well I comprehend evolution all the way down to phylogenies and genetics, I seriously would say it is one of my better subjects. Unfortunately for me Professor Graves is a terrible person who writes terrible exams. He is basically getting fired next semester but hes on tenure so really he is just being removed from his ability to teach classes. He seriously is more concerned that we memorize every scientist and every species rather than understanding the concepts. It is obnoxious. Not to mention he is a narcissistic elitist closed minded d-bag, who rips apart peoples religions in class, and makes students cry.
No crew anymore, I wish I had a PEIF buddy, well just someone to lift with.
Two exams this week ecology and statistics. Not worried at all.
I must remember to pick up shifts tomorrow, I could really use some money.
Live learn lead has apparently been moved to next weekend which means I will no longer be going to state next weekend. Shitty, next semester?
This weekend is going to be cool if you keep your drunken word... if you remember it